Desktop Notes

After reading this excellent article, I was inspired to reflect upon my own recent experiences on this topic. I used to be known as the shy person. Normally I would shy away from social gatherings and stay at home to work on my computer. However, recent changes in my life have inspired me to change my ways after recognizing the fallacy of my ways.

First off let me say I am by no means an expert on this topic. I am also not saying I’m completely “cured” either. This post is only my reflection upon my recent experiences in trying to overcome this “problem”.

The first step is to recognize by yourself that being shy is a problem. Having other people tell you will not work. You need the inspiration to come from within. Personally, I knew being shy was a problem for many years and many people have urged me to change, but it was only the last few weeks that I came to the conclusion that I must change myself in order to transcend to the next level of life.

Once you’ve realized that being shy is a problem, here’s what I consider are the most important factors to overcoming shyness:

1. Have an encouraging set of friends. This might be a challenge for a shy person since this involves getting to know people. You can look internally within your family/relatives. If no one there can help you, then you can try meeting new friends at places where people congregate: the gym, church, and school to name a few. For me, I was lucky that fate led me to the group of classmates here at NTNU. My classmates here have taken on this role for me, and they were the ones who kick started my recent transformation. For this I’m eternally grateful to them.
2. Let your guard down. When among friends, it’s OK to let your guard down. You must do this in order to try new things. If you’re stubborn on your refusing to try new things, you will never get to experience new things. Never drank before? Do it when you’re with friends. Never danced before? Let your friends show you the moves. Part of overcoming shyness is trying out new things and doing this with friends is the best and safest way to do it. Your friends will take care of you and will support you so it’s OK to let your guard down to try out new stuff.
3. On your quest to become more social, you will make mistakes along the way. As the article says, don’t fixate on your blunders. After you realize something went wrong, consider the cause, consider how not to make the same mistake again, then move on. Shy people tend to be introverted, and introverted people tend to think about everything too much. So it’s natural for you to think way too much about something. Thinking about your mistakes too much will only exacerbate the feeling and make you feel worse, eventually causing you to give up your quest and cause you to lose everything that you’ve gained.

With these tips in mind, I’ve been successfully transforming myself into a more social person and meeting lots of new people. So far I’m having lots of success and with friends who support me, it’s been a lot of fun. Even though I missed out on so many years in the past, with another new year ahead, I’m enthusiastically looking forward to what’s upcoming.